Posted June 27, 2008
Hello, ladies. (And gentlemen.) I have a proposition. No more "top" lists, ever.
I keep hearing about this TitleTown USA stuff, some contest ESPN is holding to determine which title-winning town is the best, I guess. Some national magazine tells us the Replay is the best bar in Kansas, another says Lawrence isn't or is one of the best rock towns in America, U.S. News & World Report says KU is better or worse than it was last year ... and none of it, of course, means anything.
Well, nevermind. Maybe I'm just being cranky. Let the "top" lists be. Let us make lots of "top" lists instead. Here are mine, based on months of scrupulous research, interviews, etc.:
Top Hypothetical Concert Lineup Based on Most Outrageous Local Band Names: Jungle Tits/ Al-Qaeda/ The Complimentary Toothpicks
Top Facial Feature: eyes
Top Gun: Maverick
Top Book: Sometimes a Great Notion by Ken Kesey
Top Shelf Liquor: one may only speculate
Top Pen: Pilot G-2
Top Food: steak
In other news, if you enjoy web pages, you might enjoy these:
You're Gonna Frey (I don't know much about the people this piece refers to, but it's still funny.)
Stuff White People Like
Comments
Falestine Afani Ruzik chewyfally says...
omfg I LOVE stuff white people like
it's friggin' hilarious.
Posted 27 June 2008, 2:20 p.m. Suggest removal
Jill Ensley godjilla says...
I challenge your Top Pen choice, good sir!
For these are the Best Pens Ever:
http://www.office-supplies.us.com/produc...
Posted 27 June 2008, 4:55 p.m. Suggest removal
Anonymous Shelby says...
Not to nitpick, toothpick, but I think Iceman and Slider won Top Gun.
That is, admittedly, disregarding the fact that Maverick essentially took himself out of the competition after Goose died.
You have to feel for that black guy who Maverick tried flying with there for a little while. "We could of had him, man. HEY! We could of had him!!"
But Maverick couldn't take the shot. It was "no good". Sad, really.
Great. Balls. Of fire.
Posted 28 June 2008, 7:58 p.m. Suggest removal
Frank Tankard frankt says...
Sorry, Shelby, but the staff of the Rogue Scarlet blog, after, I repeat, months of scrupulous research, and using a set of criteria that would take far too long to explain, came to the following conclusion pertaining to this particular list, and it stands:
Top Gun: Maverick
Posted 28 June 2008, 8:08 p.m. Suggest removal
Anonymous bloozman says...
I always thought that Paladin was the top gun.
Posted 1 July 2008, 11:11 a.m. Suggest removal
Bill Hoyt El_Borak says...
Hey, part of Lawrence was #1 in June:
http://www.kunstler.com/eyesore_200806.h...
Posted 2 July 2008, 11:40 a.m. Suggest removal
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